When I was little I was afraid of lightning. After a scary encounter, any sign of lightning such as dark clouds posed a threat to my survival. When the signs of a thunderstorm arose, I would tense up and be unable to perform -my only thought was getting to safety – usually, that meant finding a car to escape into. Since I spent a lot of my time outdoors, usually playing soccer, this significantly interfered with my life.
Due to my severe fear my mother started utilizing lightning as a symbol, painting it on my ceiling in my favorite lime green color and mirroring it on my rug in my bedroom. I soon learned to admire lightning, it reminded me of overcoming my fear.
At my coaching intensive, our instructors asked us to chose a picture that represented our coaching philosophy. Most of my classmates chose bright pictures of beautiful beaches. I chuckled to myself, I was the only person that chose a dark, ominous picture utilizing the colors of black and dark purple with the focal point on lightning. Is coaching really about helping people find their “beach”?
At this point I realized, it is not about “overcoming” our fears but understanding that we can hold two stories at the same time! That a small shift in perspective moves an event from threatening to inspiring. As a coach, we shouldn’t focus on alleviating clients' fears but building new perspectives that enable clients to embrace the idea that beauty and threat can coexist.
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